growing up

When Home Just Isn’t Home Anymore

So…you’ve lived apart from your family for a few months, even an entire school year. And now, you’re back to their house or your hometown for a little bit. You’re happy, but coming “home” has somehow become different.

I’ve already experienced this feeling before moving away to university, after having done some traveling without my family. But it wasn’t until I lived in residence in university and visited my home for the holidays that I noticed how out of place I felt at home.

When you first see your family and friends, it seems like everything is the same. Same house, same car, same dog, same city. But they’ve really changed. See, the funny thing is, other people aren’t static. They grow up, get new hobbies or jobs, new friends or partners, and even if you know about all of that before you reunite, you’ll still have to get used to how those things affect your loved one’s daily lives.

But, the hardest part of coming home is being faced with how you’ve changed. After all, you’ve been away and learned some valuable lessons on your own. From friendships to things you learned in university courses, you’re not the same person you left home as. I know I came back from my first semester of university with new friends, a realization of how hard university can be, and with more independence. I’d even become a bit more extroverted, which is no small feat for me.

So, is there anything you can do about coming home and facing change or being changed?

To be honest, you can’t do much but to accept the changes and adapt to your new life. You’ll never be able to change the paths of others in your life, so you’ll either have to accept them as they are or set them loose. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go of a friend in your life. It might be tough, but you’ll survive.

As for personal change, you’ll have to assess whether it’s good or bad, and then embrace what will allow you to become the best version of yourself. Take some time to have a heart to heart with yourself, and it’ll help you grow as a person. I hope that what you discover allows you to reach your goals and contribute to the world around you.

Just remember, change is a healthy part of life. You won’t be able to avoid it, but you can change how you react to it. So, when you feel out of sorts going home the next school break, go out and embrace the weirdness of change!

-Mel.

The Best Thing About University

In my opinion, the best thing about university is freedom.

Suddenly after high school, you’re most likely living in a new place without the support systems like your parents or high school friends that you’re used to. And it’s really scary, that all of life suddenly looks a lot like a giant question mark.

That’s a good thing, because now you have the freedom to make your life what you want and need it to be.

You have the freedom to learn about anything and everything you want to. You can take whatever courses you want, and take what you need to learn about life out of them. You have the freedom to join whatever activities on campus that look attractive, and make new friends with whoever you want. You have the freedom to live on your own, make your own schedule, and take care of yourself.

All those options might look scary, but they’re all important choices you need to make yourself. In doing just that, you’ll learn a lot of lessons about yourself and the world, and from there you can decide where you want to go in life.

So, the freedom in university, it’s a good thing. It allows you to grow in ways you can’t even imagine yet, and I’m sure you’ll be grateful for the roller coaster of an adventure it’ll be.

What do guys think is the best part of university? Leave a comment below!

-Mel.

 

Day 24-Things That Make You Scared

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while, and I couldn’t figure out what to write.

You see, I’m scared of a lot of normal things, like heights, random noises in the dark, and death. But that seems so trivial, compared to the biggest thing I’ve ever feared.

I fear change.

And I’m not talking small change, like taking a different bus to work, but the big changes in life that accumulate from little moments.

Like being best friends with someone from high school, just to drift apart slowly over the years, never to speak again. Like the fact that in a few years, after my degree, I’ll have to face the change of going into the normal adult world instead of being at school. Like the fact that one day, I might not recognize the person I am now.

I know there’s nothing I can do in the face of change, that it’ll happen no matter what. But sometimes, I’d love to slow down my days so that it’s not too soon that I face a completely different outcome than what I put in my life. Who knows, that extra Friday afternoon in a park with a friend might change my future, and I want to remember that moment the rest of my life.

What do you guys fear? Leave it down below, and it doesn’t have to be as deep as mine!

-Mel.

Day 23-What Area of Life I’d Like To Improve

To be honest, I’d like to improve in all the areas of my life.

In relationships, I want to be a better friend, one who is more up to date and connected to them. I’m bad at messaging someone constantly for a while then not doing so again for months, so I’d definitely like to improve on that. Plus, if it gets me a date or something, bonus points!

In general, I’d like to become better at managing being an adult, from being able to manage my money better, to doing my taxes and stuff like that. Plus, I’m hoping the adulting skills I learn now will help me prepare for after graduating school. However, I know those will come in time, since I can’t learn everything adult at once.

At school, I’d like to keep getting good marks, and become more involved on campus next year with societies and clubs. I’m thinking as well that I’d like to go on exchange, which might require a bit of extra work and maybe getting a few scholarships.

What do you guys want to improve in your life? Tell me down below!

-Mel.

Day 19-How I’ve Changed In The Last 2 Years

Almost two years ago, I was writing my last diploma exams for high school, so I feel like it’s a good time to be writing this.

I don’t think I can say only part of me has changed, but me as a whole. If you had met the Melissa graduating high school, I think you wouldn’t recognize the woman I am today.

In terms of relationships, I was in a long-term relationship two years ago. Now, I’ve been single for almost a year, and I’ve honestly been loving it, especially the freedom to do whatever I want. I’ve learnt over the last two years that I need to rely on myself before anyone else, and that I am the source of my happiness, not the guy I date. In terms of both relationships, and in particular friendships, I’ve learnt more about what being a good friend means, and when I need to leave some friendships. My friends now are some of the best I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

In terms of work, in the last two years I’ve changed jobs once, and I decided to come back to a job I thought I would never have. When I moved out to Banff last year for my job, I took a huge leap of faith in my abilities and the job in general. I survived that summer, and this summer I’m working at the same place. It’s definitely a change from working in food service to sales, but I’ve become more outgoing because of it.

In terms of school, I’ve learned so much. I learnt how to study, how to write better, how to manage my time, etc. I loved my first year, and I can’t wait to get back to X, even if that means having to do midterms and exams again. However, two years ago I don’t think I would have decided moving to a small university across the country would be perfection, but it is now.

In terms of everything else, I think I’ve gained a lot of independence and have become a lot more of a responsible adult. After dealing with taxes, doctor’s appointments, and living on my own basically in Banff and Nova Scotia, I’ve learnt a lot of small life lessons. Whether it’s cooking a new meal or figuring out where to get a letter for a scholarship on campus, I’ve become better at managing my own things. I also appreciate my parents and all they do, because I struggle sometimes with getting everything done on time.

In any case, I’m thankful for the lessons life has taught me over the last two years, and I’m optimistic for the next few. Hopefully, I can read this post then and be proud of where I’ve gotten. Until then,  I’ll keep going in this journey called life.

-Mel.

 

Day 23-A letter to someone, anyone

Dear not-so-little sister,

How are you today? I know we don’t talk as much since I moved away to university, and I miss having you by my side getting into trouble.

I just wanted to say I’m proud of you, especially these last few years. Unlike the times that I swore you were going to get into serious trouble as a kid, now I see a very responsible young adult. You’ve impressed me by winning at your recent archery competitions, and telling me that you want to become a psychologist. Not to mention, you’re learning to drive now, which is freaking scary, but I know now that you’re capable of doing well at it.

I also wanted to give you one piece of sisterly advice, well actually a few. You always say you’re the single one, but I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who is worth dating you. But even so, what is important in life isn’t how many guys you’ve dated or that you’re in a relationship, but what you accomplish. So, go out there in the world and kick butt, like you’ve already been doing, and I’m sure you’ll stumble upon someone who can handle the strong but slightly crazy women from this family.

Lastly, I wanted to say that I love you with all my heart, and I’m glad to be your sister, no matter what. Even though I’m missing your birthday, you better believe I wish I could be there. Instead, I’ll spam text you aggressively and give you a present that will make up for it (hopefully). 

Love,

Your older sister Melissa

P.S. Stop stealing the dog, she likes my bed too…

 

Day 17-What you want to become when you’re older

Well, nothing like a cold splash of reality about my future. Or as I call it, just normal weekly things that I’m reminded of…

Anyways, I do have two ideas of what I want to become in the future.

The first, and my top choice, is to become a diplomat, or Foreign Service Officer (FSO). I want to become a diplomat because I believe that the way to help and do good in this rather politically complex world is to experience it first hand, and interact with it on a smaller level first, before trying to change anything on a bigger scale. Not to mention, I love learning languages, travelling, and talking to all sorts of people across the world, so I think I’ll make a good diplomat. (Fingers crossed)

Second, if I don’t become an FSO, I’d love to teach. And as weird as that may seem contrasted to a cool life of a diplomat, in teaching future generations, I hope I can teach them how to be better citizens. Having also been a TA at one point, I’d definitely like to consider the possibility of becoming an elementary school teacher. However, that is still my plan B to being a diplomat.

What do you want to become/are becoming? Let me know in the comments!

-Mel.

P.S. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! ☘

Change of scenery

So, this week has been a whirlwind of packing and appointments and buying things more fit for an adult’s life. And for what reason, you might ask, am I running around doing all this?

The short answer is: I’m moving to Banff for the next three months to work for Brewster. Big change, right? 

I’m glad I got my dream job, but currently I’m a bit freaked out about the fact that tomorrow I’ll be living truly on my own. Plus I’ll be cooking and doing other boring adult stuff like buying dishsoap. I really don’t feel like I’m ready to take this step in life yet, but I’ll give it my best shot and dive right in. 

Deep breath, wish me luck. 

-Melissa

(p.s. If you have advice leave it in the comments!)