love

How To Deal With Being Homesick

As I’m writing this tonight, I’m feeling the usual bout of homesickness that comes with being across the country from my family.

So, I decided to write down a list of things that’ll make you feel less homesick for the people out there going through it. Here goes…

  1. Talk to your family. As simple as it sounds, just chatting with them and catching up helps, since you feel like you’re almost home in a way. Plus they might send you cute hug stickers.
  2. Hang out with your friends on campus, it takes your mind off home. Plus, I have some friends who also get pretty homesick so we support each other.
  3. Go for a walk. Get some coffee, wander around town, walk somewhere as long as you get fresh air. It’ll clear your head.
  4. Get some comfort food. If there’s one food that always reminds you of home or makes you feel better, treat yourself.
  5. Watch your favorite movie or TV show. It also takes your mind off being homesick, and bonus if it makes you laugh. Plus with comfort food, it makes a good night.
  6. If you have a special object from home, grab it. I personally keep a bunch of cards that I’ve gotten from family and I reread them when I’m down.
  7. Go do something! Find a special lecture, event, go to the pub, something that’ll get you out of your room. Again, it keeps your mind from only focusing on home.
  8. Have a dance party! Blast your favourite tunes for a while to cheer you up.
  9. Get creative. Doodle, colour, play music, write, whatever your thing is. Personally, I like combining this with blasting my music.
  10. Do your schoolwork. As weird as it sounds, I’ve sometimes found immersing myself in a project or paper helps.
  11. If all else fails, let yourself feel your emotions, even if it involves crying. It helps release all your feelings, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope these suggestions help any of my readers out there experiencing homesickness, and that you get back to feeling fantastic like the great people you are.

-Mel.

 

10 Things You Learn When You’re Single

  1. You can order whatever food you want, whenever, and nobody will judge you.
  2. You can go on a lot of first dates.
  3. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, including travelling the world over.
  4. You are never alone, there’s always someone who has your back.
  5. You may not be a perfect person, but you have the power to become a better person.
  6. You’re stronger and more independent than you thought.
  7. Treating yourself is just as important as any other priority.
  8. What you actually love doing.
  9. You are capable of meeting new people or being in new situations and not making a fool of yourself.
  10. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

-Mel.

Threads

It’s funny, how we humans cling to the smallest thread of hope when it can hurt us so much.

But he was a seemingly never ending thread clinging to me, and for every inch I found there seemed to be three more. Now, as I’m sitting here with pain in my heart, and another set of a million questions in my head, maybe, I think, it’s time to let go.

I still remember the moments I was in love with him. They’re fleeting now, sometimes my mind replays them late at night, as if warning me of the mistake I’ve made. How should it know it was a mistake, when these last few months giving back into his love has felt like a dream?

How should I know?

How should I know I don’t love him anymore?

How should I know why a part of me still loves him and aches to be with him and kiss him and just love HIM?

The truth is, I don’t know.

But I know what I need to do right now, and that it is the right decision at this point in my life.

Tomorrow, I will write him a long letter. A letter that I really wish he could avoid being hurt from, but one that he needs to read. Because if not, he won’t ever understand why we need to go our separate ways.

It’s sort of ironic, in a way, that it’s taken me this long to realize that I need to write that letter. As if our love has still kept me blind to why I left in the first place.

But I’m just reflecting to put off what I have to do. I have been for months. And maybe all those crucial moments of time in the last few months I could have done it. But it just never felt right, I just never felt ready to let go.

So tomorrow, I’ll get rid of that thread, dangling loosely from the whole of the tapestry of my life. After all, it’s had it’s shining moment, but now it’s time to cut it from the whole.

God, this will hurt.

I’m holding the scissors open around that stupid thread.

I’m closing my eyes. I can’t watch.

Snip.

Done. The End. No more.

I love you.

Day 25-Your Siblings

Luckily I only have the one sibling, a younger sister.

She’s four years younger, which is a big gap, but we still get along very well.

She’s finishing up her first year of high school right now with very little trouble. She’s in band, and she’s also pretty involved in Girl Guides.

But the thing I think my sister should be most proud of is her medals from her archery competitions. She’s won quite a few this year, and fingers crossed she does well for some of the future competitions she’s interested in.

My sister is also a giant nerd like me, except with love of K-pop and anime thrown in. We literally spent our time on the phone recently reading each other funny Tumblr posts…and watching Markiplier. She’s my go to for Comic Expo as well, and we’ve had fun there the last few years.

In any case, I love my little sis to bits, even if she changes my name in her phone to the one that doesn’t answer when I’m away at university.

Love ya Panda.

-Mel.

Day 9-The Person You Like

Well, another 30 Day Challenge, and the same answer for the same question!

I still like the same person as in March, and I still haven’t told them about it. I won’t reveal their name or dead giveaway details since they do know I have a blog now…

The guy I like is hard to describe, to be honest. He is caring and understanding, always there for support on good and bad days. He is very determined and dedicated to his goals in life, and he has a plan for where he’s going. He can be stubborn, but it never ends our conversations. He has a great sense of humour and gets my sarcasm. He shares a lot of the same interests and world views, but we’re different enough that I think we can learn from each other.

I should really tell him I like him, but I don’t want to risk the friendship between us unless I’m 100% sure that it’ll end up well. For now, I’m happy being friends with him.

-Mel.

Day 6-A Date You Want To Go On

Ironically this is one of those online dating questions…

For me, I always like to collaborate with the person that I’m going on a date with for the date idea so I can take their interests and personality into account.

Personally, my ideal date would be a combination of fun, casual, and romantic.

For example, take me to a bowling alley, and then on a walk to talk about things and maybe grab a bite to eat too. Or arrange a picnic in the park, but also maybe have a biking adventure planned out for after.

But, in the end, so long as I can get to know the person and it’s not too high pressure of a situation, I’m always up for anything, even if it involves a gun range.

What’s your ideal date? Leave it below!

-Mel.

Unanswered Messages

It’s been six months since I met you, since I started having feelings for you. And here I am, staring at all our mutual friends wishing you happy birthday while I can’t bring myself to write anything to you but this: Why?

Everything started out great. We talked late into the night, flirted on the bus, and were careful not to step on each other’s feelings. You were there to comfort me when I went through my first break-up. I thought I could trust you, that you were a good person. Boy, I was wrong.

Things progressed further, I was single and could pursue you. Admittedly, it eased my recently broken heart. But I should have listened to a small collection of voices that told me you were trouble. Instead, I followed you like a lost puppy, and you hurt me more than my first broken heart of that summer.

It’s a funny thing, what clarity distance can bring. Suddenly, your excuses, long silences, and disinterest made so much more sense. I heard news passed on from friends still around you, and they were like a slap in the face. When I moved away, it wasn’t just enough to forget me, but you had to forget to tell me you were going to visit the city that your new girl lived in. Convenient, isn’t it? That way, if that relationship failed, you could come sulking back to me.

But you won’t ever have the chance. I weaned myself off your influence month by month, deleting you from my online life site by site. As far as anybody else knows, we’re strangers, who have no history together, who never went to a movie together, who never shared dreams. And it will stay that way, since if you ever have the audacity to message me again with a “sorry” message, I will give you a million reasons to crawl back to Australia.

Goodbye, love, you can keep your empty promises and your facade of a nice guy. Give them to your next poor victim, and I hope she hurts you as well as you hurt me.

Besides, you never deserved me anyways. I’m pretty sure I can do a better job of loving me than you ever could. The only thing you’ll ever see from me now is the little checkmark on read messages, without any answer.

Au revoir.

 

Day 23-A letter to someone, anyone

Dear not-so-little sister,

How are you today? I know we don’t talk as much since I moved away to university, and I miss having you by my side getting into trouble.

I just wanted to say I’m proud of you, especially these last few years. Unlike the times that I swore you were going to get into serious trouble as a kid, now I see a very responsible young adult. You’ve impressed me by winning at your recent archery competitions, and telling me that you want to become a psychologist. Not to mention, you’re learning to drive now, which is freaking scary, but I know now that you’re capable of doing well at it.

I also wanted to give you one piece of sisterly advice, well actually a few. You always say you’re the single one, but I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who is worth dating you. But even so, what is important in life isn’t how many guys you’ve dated or that you’re in a relationship, but what you accomplish. So, go out there in the world and kick butt, like you’ve already been doing, and I’m sure you’ll stumble upon someone who can handle the strong but slightly crazy women from this family.

Lastly, I wanted to say that I love you with all my heart, and I’m glad to be your sister, no matter what. Even though I’m missing your birthday, you better believe I wish I could be there. Instead, I’ll spam text you aggressively and give you a present that will make up for it (hopefully). 

Love,

Your older sister Melissa

P.S. Stop stealing the dog, she likes my bed too…

 

Day 21-Turn on and offs

I’ve gathered my top three turn ons and offs dating wise mostly, but they’re applicable to friendships as well!

Turn-ons:

  1. Sense of humour: If you can make me laugh, you’re doing well. Also, if you understand my sarcastic sense of humour, you are automatically my best friend.
  2. Intelligence: By intelligence, I don’t mean you have to love everything I like to learn about. I find it really nice to be able to hold an intelligent conversation, and if you can bring something for me to learn about, kudos to you.
  3. Loyalty: As weird as this may sound, but if you aren’t loyal to me, or to those in your life, I probably won’t date you. Loyalty for me is one of the things I give wholeheartedly to a relationship, and if the other person can’t, game over.

Turn-offs:

  1. Not answering messages: I understand life is busy, that everyone has things they have to do. But if you can’t take five minutes out of your day to send a quick response, why should I take five minutes of my time to talk to you?
  2. Not being kind: What I mean by this is a level of kindness for everyone. You may not like everyone, and I get that, but yelling at waitresses and those in retail won’t get you brownie points. For me, this is also tied to having a level of respect for everyone.
  3. Treating me like an object: Ladies, and men to some degree, you know what I mean. I’m sorry guys, but if you treat me like an object that will fulfill all your desires, better start running, because I don’t tolerate that at all. I am a PERSON, and deserve to be treated as such.

There you go, short but sweet list of my turn-ons and turn-offs. What are yours? Comment them below!

-Mel.

Day 16-Last Day on Earth

Well, today’s question is rather philosophical, is it not?

First of all, let me just say, that if the world were to end, I would prefer not to have advance knowledge because I think living with the knowledge of the earth ending tomorrow is more terrifying than dying suddenly one day.

That being said, if I knew I only had one day left, there are only a few things I can think of that I would actually do. First, I’d tell everyone I love that I do love them, try to talk to all of them, and spend the most amount of time with them that I could. Second, I would make my peace with those who have hurt me in the past, and let go of all past grudges. And lastly, I would thank the world for allowing me to live my life with all of its blessings.

For me, on my last day, the material things wouldn’t matter, like food and money. It’s those who have supported me that do matter, and I would rather leave this world with a bit more peace and happiness.

What would you do on your last day on Earth? Leave it in the comments!

-Mel.